Laurel's Blog

Why you need to know about pronouns

This LGBT+ history month, I have been reflecting on the learning I have done over the last 2 years about trans and non-binary people. My learning journey started when a non-binary colleague joined my workplace. They used they/them pronouns, encouraged us to share our pronouns in meetings and online and generously gave us some introductory training.

Pride flag variant based on Daniel Quasar's 2018 design combining elements of the Philadelphia flag and the trans pride flag, and brown and black.

2 years ago, I didn’t know about the many different pronouns used by non-binary and trans people. I thought, incorrectly, that trans referred solely to people who are physically transitioning from male to female or female to male. I have now developed a more in-depth understanding and I am convinced that this is a critical area for training for all workplaces. This is particularly important if you work with, support or engage young people in your workplace. Knowledge, understanding and support for trans people not only meets your diversity and inclusion policy, it may also make a critical difference to the mental health of a community with shockingly high rates of self-harming, suicide ideation and suicide. (Stonewall 2017 School Report: 92% of trans young people have thought about taking their own life; 84% of trans young people have self-harmed; and 45% of trans young people have tried to take their own life.)

This article represents my own learning and research, which has made me aware of how gendered our society and language is. This runs deep - the world is binary in a very fundamental way. Declarations from (mostly) young people that they reject the binary world by refusing to be gendered, are often met with responses embedded in denial of the premise that there are more than 2 genders.

Transgender people don’t identify with their biological sex or birth gender. Some may experience gender dysphoria and seek medical support to make changes to their bodies, often dressing, using a name and pronouns that reflect the gender they want to be. Others may be happy with changing their appearance, pronouns and name to reflect their chosen gender and don’t feel the need to have medical treatments.

Some people identify as gender fluid, gender queer or not fully male or female in different degrees. Gender exploring young people reject the binary male and female and use terms which reflect their experience of gender and may use a range and flexible combination of pronouns. Non-binary people do not identify as either male or female, often preferring to use they/them pronouns.

For some the concept of gender as flexible rather than fixed will be hugely challenging. It may help to start by considering that not everyone male or female is the same, some people are more masculine or more feminine. In reality, male and female are not homogenous identities but represent a range of people. However, popular culture often reflects the extremes of those identities as mainstream, the action man and the beauty queen. They are stereotypes of male and female and reinforce the perception of an idealised and fixed idea of gender.

Those who reject this traditional binary view of gender use new language to describe their identities in non-gendered ways. Language, like gender, is fluid and ever evolving. Some of these terms are from ancient, indigenous peoples and others are more recent. New terms and pronouns are being recognised all the time and you can find up-to date information online. This wealth of terms includes gender fluid, gender queer, demigirl, multigender, trigender – over 60 are recognised at the time of writing. Pronouns are also used in a more fluid way for example she/they, he/she/they combinations and non-gendered pronouns xe, ve, ze. People often choose a new name that better reflects their identity. This process can take time and they may choose and use more than one new name while they explore their identity and search for the name that they feel best reflects who they are.

How can you make your workplace more trans inclusive?

1. Inform and Educate

Don’t wait till you have a non-binary or genderfluid employee, client, work-experience placement, volunteer or visitor to take this step and don’t place the responsibility on that person to educate you. There is excellent up-to-date information online including blogs, videos and explainers. Make sure you are using reputable sources like Stonewall or Mermaids. This video from Mermaids is a great start

2. Training

Staff, volunteers, trustees and others in your organisation need training. Again, don’t wait till you have a non-binary or trans colleague or client before doing this. It is best to give staff information and a chance to discuss it before any issues may arise. Be clear that this is part of your equalities policy and an important part of respecting colleagues, visitors etc. Basics include using preferred pronouns, chosen names and not asking personal questions like “What’s your real name?”, “What’s your birth gender?” or “Have you had surgery?” Remember they are people, and you should not focus on their gender identity but treat them like any other colleague, visitor, trainee etc

3. Policies

Make sure that your workplace policies use gender neutral language and that you have current policies in place for things like change of name, alternative pronouns, bathroom facilities etc. Review all your documents for gender inclusion and gendered language. Don't limit this to the equalities policy, consider how recruitment, uniform, collecting and other policies may need to change. Ensure forms including job applications, sign ups and evaluation have options for describing your gender and pronouns, as well as a prefer not to say box. Regularise sharing of pronouns for all staff at the start of meetings and on email signatures. This will send a strong and welcome signal about the use of preferred pronouns in your workplace.

4. Represent

Consider how you represent genders in your social media, displays, printed materials and images. Can you give voice to non-binary and trans people through blogs, vlogs, talks and articles? And please don't use this as a training opportunity, value the person who happens to be trans or non-binary, for their views, knowledge, experience and skills. Consider if and how trans and non-binary people are represented in your collections, your volunteers, staff and governance? Do you have a young people's panel, focus group or young people on your board of trustees? If so, do they include LGBT+ young people?

If this is all new to you and you don't know where to start, get expert help

If you are a culture, heritage, nature or community organisation, do get in touch to find out how I can help you with policies, engagement activities and training for volunteers and staff.